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How Long Does It Take To Change My Mindset?

How long does it take to change my mindset?


The way to calibrate this is to sit down and write out how much it is going to cost you to maintain the status quo of the emotional pain that you are currently experiencing in your life? If you are not really bothered, then changing your Mindset will not be top of your list of priorities. On the other hand, if your life is falling down around your ears, then yes, adopting a Mindset of, 'I am going to change my circumstances as quickly as possible' will lead to a much faster change of Mindset.


Sit down with a blank piece of paper and a pen and do the following simple task.

Draw two lines down the page so you have three columns. At the top of the page write out three headings. Column one, What is the Problem. Column two, Cost (Emotional/Physical/Intellectual/Spiritual). Column three, The Solution. 


There are two directions that we usually travel in life. Towards pleasure or away from pain. This is what sales is all about. It is satisfying one or the other. A bigger car or a new miracle weight loss product? Moving away from pain is usually the motivator in changing your Mindset as quickly as you possibly can. How much pain are you in? Unfortunately, the greater the pain the greater the paralysis.

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The quickest way to defeat that endless negative voice is to unplug it. You do this by getting everything out of your head and down onto paper, as this will give you a fresh new perspective. When you change how you look at something, what you look at changes. By doing this, you disempower that negative inner voice by removing the problem from its home field of play, your head. Laying it all out in front of you to be examined in the cold light of day, exposes the details of the problem to closer examination. You cannot put a price on clarity, especially when it cuts to the heart of a problem that is destroying your life.


Play to your advantage and change the rules of engagement. Bring order and logic to solving the problem by using the clarity of vision to describe the problem in a fresh way. This is why 'whiteboarding' is so powerful in business as it allows for a visual description and understanding of the problem at hand. By writing out clearly everything about the problem, you are also talking directly to your subconscious and asking it for help. This is extremely powerful tool to use that has been tried and tested.


What is the cost to you in terms of your emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual wellbeing? In order to solve a problem, you must first understand it fully in terms of its impact on your day to day life. What impact is it really having on you and your ability to be yourself? The greatest gift you can give yourself or anyone else, is you. Don't allow anything to impede your ability to be you, as you are too precious to allow this to happen. Always strive to be your genuine authentic self.

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Sit down at a table. Place two chairs at the table. Now change seats and look across at where you were sitting. What advice would you give yourself? Change the rules of the game to your advantage. Who do you admire or respect? Put yourself in their shoes. What would they say to you right now? What advise would you give to yourself, sitting on the other side of that table? You know exactly what to say and do. The answers are all inside of you but first you have to mine them and bring them to the surface of your mind.


If however you are struggling with this, then simply ask for advice. If you feel that you do not yet trust your own judgement, then ask for help. This is what all the great generals down through history have always done. They have sought and asked those in their command their opinions and advice. They first lay everything out in front of them so they have a clear and complete picture of the problem, as this is a critical aspect of problem solving. Then when they have a full and clear understanding, they are then ready and in a position to make the decisions that need to be made.


I would humbly suggest, that it may be a good idea for you to learn from the great problem solvers that have gone before you, as that is what generals really were. Learn from them and borrow their key skill set of getting clarity on what exactly the problem is before they attempted to solve it. The key leaders within their command also play a vital role as they feed critical information back up the chain of command which then feeds into the final series of key decisions which will inform the final strategic decision required to resolve the issue at hand. 


Identify those people within your inner circle, or who may even be colleagues at work, who you feel may be able to help you find the solution to your problem. With measured subtle questioning, ask their opinions on a range of options that you may have in mind to help resolve the issue that is causing so much pain in your life. Only ask those who have actually solved a very similar problem to the one you are currently experiencing. This is key. Put simply, would you ask a car mechanic for advice on your broken leg? Get the very best advice possible that you can find. 


When you have compiled the information, only then do you outline a plan of action. When you have done this, then you refine it further. Bring the plan to the point of execution and then refine it again. Be 100% confident in your solution, however painful it may be to actually execute, as this will greatly enhance your chances of a successful outcome.

Steal in like a thief in the night and grab hold of the problem from the clutches of your anxiety ridden mind and lay it out in the spotlight of clarity, honesty and truth. 

Do not allow it to continue to hide in the recesses of your mind, camouflaged by confusion, fear and self-loathing.

Take the first step to solving your problem by disempowering it with the conviction of your courage to confront it.


Anything and everything in life worth doing usually starts with making a decision. Are you serious about solving this, are you ready? This is what will determine how long it takes you to change your Mindset. How badly do you want to change your current situation? A little perspective usually helps. Imagine you have just been to the doctor and she has told you that you have three months to live. How serious is your current problem now? This type of mental gymnastics allows you to view problems in a new light and with a new perspective.

Never allow yourself to be boxed in by your perception of reality. There is always a way out, you just need to find the escape hatch. 

The only constant in life is change. Allow yourself the luxury of taking a breath and momentarily step back from the edge of despair in order to cast your mind forward to a point in time where you are experiencing the feeling of relief, that you have come through the storm. Soak up that feeling. Use it to fuel you. You will get there. It is only a question of when.


I found my own way out when I was introduced to the most important person in my life that I could trust. Me. It happened when I was lying in a hospital bed, dying. I wasn't, but that is what severe food poisoning will do to you. I literally wanted to die. I hadn't eaten in eight days and I had what alcoholics commonly refer to as a 'moment of clarity'. My career was not giving me the sense of fulfillment that I felt it should have been and I was feeling very disillusioned. My career was something that I valued very highly, as it involved giving life changing advice, in the area of health. The problem I had was an underlying sense of  'I should be doing something else even more important with my life, something that really matters to me and to others, in a fundamental life changing way'. As improbable or unlikely as that sounds, it was eating away at me. I didn't feel fully valued by my clients. The truth was, I didn't value myself enough to do what I really wanted to do and what I have always known, deep down, that I should be doing with my life. That is what my real problem was and I was ignoring all the signs that life was giving me, for years. Not any more. 


I had that 'moment of clarity' right there in that hospital bed. It happened in a blink of an eye. It was done. I was going in a new direction with my life. This very moment that you are experiencing right now, is last week's future and next week's past. In reality and right in this very moment, the future, the present and the past are all taking place. Make every moment count. Since the beginning of 2020, we have all experienced for ourselves, the importance of using our time wisely and how important our relationships are with the people that we love. That also applies to ourselves. Living a life fulfilled and that matters is a true sign of respect and love for yourself.


This can only be answered by you. It can happen in the blink of an eye or over the course of a year. By first identifying the problem, then costing the impact on you as a person in terms of the emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual harm that it is causing, only then can you begin to chart the solution that can bring you the relief that you are searching for. In order for you to achieve this, there is something that you must first understand. 

You are not chasing a solution to your problem, you are chasing the feeling that the solution will bring to you. Immerse yourself in the anticipated feeling of relief that you will feel when you solve this problem, as this will aid you immeasurably in achieving the solution. This is a precious secret of those who know and understand how this technique works. This is what all the great leaders have always done. They step into their future success and experience it now, in order to fuel their desire and momentum to achieve it.


If you would like to learn more about this fascinating topic of Mindset and how it relates to problem solving, drop in and visit us at mindsetmentoring.com, where we have a little gift waiting for you.

Have you made a decision to change your life for the better? Leave a comment below if you have.

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Change your Mindset. Change your Life.

Nigel Brennan

Founder and CEO Mindset Mentoring Ltd.

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Monday, 15 April 2024

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